she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
