I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
