): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
