I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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