Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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