I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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