I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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