you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
