She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize