i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
