toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
