Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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