Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
be right there i have to get my cape
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
