I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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