shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
