He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dick very happy bro
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
