Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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