At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My vagina is officially offended.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
