What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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