i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
