bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
