is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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