Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
