ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
