My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
