nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she smelled like a LAN party
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
