This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
