Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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