ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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