Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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