u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you mean i was at the winter classic?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
