The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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