Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
