Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
