I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
