Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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