did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
