when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize