Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
