We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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