I'm really into asian looking animals
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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