i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I pour the whiskey from now on
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
