You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We are all done wearing pants today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
