You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
