One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
