Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
