so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
