get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
