I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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