My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
