I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
