I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
