She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
