Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My ATM looks so different sober.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
