i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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