Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
