she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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