I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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