Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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