NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's shark week go big or go home
And then the night went full on bisexual.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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