when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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