Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
