I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
