you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
