i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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