The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
