I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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